literature

Surviving Losses: Part 2

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  The next morning I got dressed and left for work, eager to talk to Beelzemon. I sat in my chair, watching the door intently.
“You’ve been watching that door nonstop since you got here. What’s so important about that door? It’s the same door you see every day.” Pat said to me after an hour.
“Sorry, I’m waiting for a friend of mine.” I said, giving her a sideward glance and a smile.
I scanned the room before resting my head on my arms. My eyes drooped close and I unknowingly slipped into slumber. I awoke to Pat shaking my shoulder.
“Uh? Oh, sorry.” I said, looking up at her. I rubbed my eyes and straightened up.
“It’s alright.” Pat said, picking out and playing the next song.
I scanned the room, my gaze stopping on the spot Beelzemon had been sitting the night before and saw that he wasn’t there. I heaved a sigh and looked at the clock on my computer, letting my head fall on my arms. It was 8:39. I heaved another sigh and looked over at Pat, who was watching me.
“What?” I asked.
Pat shook her head and looked away. Feeling rather bored I took a pencil and a piece of paper from Pat and started drawing.
A few minutes later, I finished. It was just a drawing of a snake amongst a field of grass. I looked up and scanned the room again. My gaze stopped immediately when I saw Beelzemon, sitting as he was before, hunched over drinking, no, downing, a beer.
I stood up and started walking away when Pat called to me, “Hey, where are you goin’?!”
“I’ll be right back, my friend just arrived.” I said to her over my shoulder as I continued walking.
My stomach contracted and my heart was pounding as I walked over to Beelzemon, feeling slightly nervous.
“H-hi, Beelzemon.” I said softly when I reached him, swallowing hard.
“Go away!” I took a step back as I saw him reach for his gun. “Just leave me the he-” He looked up at me, his expression changing from anger to surprise. He quickly looked away.
I looked down sadly as I sat down on the stool next him. “I understand if you don’t want to talk to me. I bet you really hate me.” Tears swelled in my eyes and I shut them tight, trying hard to keep from crying.
“I don’t hate you.”
I looked up at Beelzemon in surprise. “Y-you don’t?! B-but what about....” I looked away, unable to keep the tears from falling, they slid down my cheeks as my thoughts wandered back to the children and Beelzemon’s horrified face.
“I could never hate you, no matter what you do.” I felt Beelzemon’s gloved hand touch my cheek.
I looked up at him and saw the sympathy in his eyes. “Well, you may not, but I do. It’s all my fault.”
“No it’s not,” Beelzemon said softly as he ran his hand across my face. “It’s not yer fault.”
“You know as well as I do that it is.”
Beelzemon gave me a sympathetic look and leaned forward, kissing me softly, longingly. I was rather taken aback, but happily returned it. I knew he was enjoying this as much as I was by how long he held me. The only thing that ruined it was that it tasted like strong alcohol, but I tried hard to ignore it.
A few moments later, he pulled away. “I’ve missed you,” he said quietly as he wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“I’ve missed you too. I’m sorry, about not listening to you. If there was a way I could change this, I gladly would. Even if that meant taking something from me.”
“No. I wouldn’t want to lose you as well, even if it meant having the kids back. You’re just as important to me as they are.”
“Thanks, Beelzemon. That means a lot to me.”
Beelzemon smiled slightly as he lightly stroked my cheek. I bet that was probably the first time he’s smiled in quite a while.
I forced a smile and placed my hand on his. “I want you to come home.”
Beelzemon’s smile faded instantly, replaced by a sullen look. “I can’t. I can’t bring myself to go home.”
My face fell in disappointment. “I understand,” I sighed and stood up. “You don’t have to come home if you don’t want to.” My throat tightened as I spoke, I had been hoping beyond hope that he would return home. But I knew that it would be hard for him after what had happened. There were many memories of the children residing in the walls of our home. I fiddled with the gold wedding ring around my ring finger.
Beelzemon looked down at the counter. I could see the tears shimmering in his eyes. Unable to take it anymore, I hurried back to my place behind the DJ booth, not looking back until I reached my seat. When I did, I saw Beelzemon was gone. I sat down in my chair, resting my head on my arms, and sighed, feeling greatly depressed, tears sliding down my cheeks. The rest of the night just passed me by. I didn’t pay any attention to anything that went on around me, until Pat told me she was leaving.
“Hey, Crysta? I’m leaving now. Aren’t you going home too? It’s 12:30.”
12:30? That late? “Really? Coulda swore it was only eight.” I said, raising my head. I heaved a sigh and started packing everything up for the night.
“Why don’t I drive you home? You look tired.”
“Alright.”
I stood up and followed Pat out to her car.
When we got to my house, I got out and watched Pat drive away before going inside. I didn’t do anything all night but sit on the couch staring at the television screen until my vision blurred and my eyes watered. I didn’t pay attention to what was on the TV, only to what was running through my mind. I remembered everything Beelzemon and I had done together, the good and the bad. What was most vivid was the conflict he and I had when we were on Thurassicon. It went on for only awhile. I was so mad at him, but I can’t remember why. The second was our marriage that Laika and the others had insisted on us having.

  I had stayed up all night and went to work the next morning dirt tired. I ended up taking a nap, letting the music player shuffle the songs since Pat had not arrived yet.
The first thing I noticed when I awoke was that the surface I was sitting on wasn’t flat. The second was that I felt pressure around my middle, like someone had their arms around me.
I blinked several times, trying to rid the sleep from my eyes. “Huh?” I looked over my shoulder to see Beelzemon.
He tilted his head to one side and smiled slightly. “Hey.”
“Beelzemon? What are you doing?” I asked, straightening up.
“Thought you’d like some company. And some comfort.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause you’re sad. I don’t want you to be sad.”
I was rather confused by his reply. “But how could you tell?”
“Well, you were crying in your sleep. And I know how you are.”
“Oh.” I looked down at the counter and sighed.
I looked up when I felt something touch my cheek. I placed my hand on Beelzemon’s.
He leaned forward and whispered in my ear, “I love you, Valamon.”
I was rather surprised that he used my real name but it quickly vanished since I remembered he would be the only one who would. “I love you, too.”
Beelzemon nuzzled my neck and rested his cheek against mine. I placed my hand on his cheek.
We sat in silence for a moment before Beelzemon said, “I’m thirsty. Would you like anything?”
“Just water please.”
I stood up and watched Beelzemon walk over to the counter.
“Hi Crysta. I’m so sorry I’m late.”
I looked away to see Pat setting her things on the booth and sitting down. I smiled at her. “It’s alright.”
Pat looked relieved. “That’s good. I was afraid you’d get mad at me for being late.”
“No, not at all.”
Just then, Beelzemon walked over with a beer bottle in one hand and a glass of water in the other. “Alright, here ya go, Crysta.” he said, setting the water down on the counter.
“Thanks.”
“Welcome.” Beelzemon replied, leaning against the edge of the counter.
“Um, Crysta? Who is that?” Pat asked, looking very frightened.
“It’s alright. This is Beelzemon; he’s a friend of mine.”
“Husband.” Beelzemon said, taking a sip of beer.
I looked at him, surprised. “Really? You still…even after what happened?”
“Of course!” He touched the gold band around his upper arm and smiled. “We are still married and I still love you.”
I smiled, relief rushing through me. I had convinced myself that he didn’t, but I guess he still does.
“This is confusing. What is he?”
“Huh? What do you mean?” I asked, slightly confused.
“I’m a Digimon, fer your information.” Beelzemon said, taking another swig of his drink.
“But that means you aren’t human…I thought they were made up creatures for a game.”
“Do I look made up to you?!” Beelzemon asked angrily, spreading his arms.
“N-no!”
“Beelzemon, calm down,” I said, standing up. I put a hand on his shoulder. “She didn’t mean it like that. Don’t be mad at her.”
Beelzemon let his arms drop to his sides and smirked. “I know. I just like scaring people, remember?”
I smiled back. “How could I forget?”
“Well, I think I should get goin’ now.”
My smile vanished. “What? So soon?”
“Sorry,” He gave me a swift kiss and started walking towards the door, waving at me. “See ya tamarrow.”
I sighed and dropped down in my chair, watching Beelzemon walk out the door. “Well, least I get to see him tomorrow.” I said sadly.
“How on earth could you be in love with a creature like that?”
I shook my head. “You’d never understand,” I sighed again. “I wish he’d come home. Maybe if I moved to another place he’d come back.”
“Move? Why would you do that? You’re going to move just so he’d live with you again?”
“Yes. Terrible things happened last year, because of me. They devastated Beelzemon and he hasn’t been home since, says it hurts too much. I understand.”
“Oh, poor things.”
“Well, it’s about time to go. Think you can handle it here for just a bit?” I asked, standing up.
“Sure.”
“Alright. I’ll leave my laptop here. Bring it back when you leave.”
“Kay thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” I said as I walked away.
I walked to my house and took a short shower.
As I was walking down the stairs, I heard noises in the kitchen. Oh great. Somebody’s in the kitchen. Looks like I’ll just have to boot them out. I walked quietly to the side of the kitchen door and peeked inside. To my surprise, I saw Beelzemon looking through one of the cabinets, a cookie clenched between his teeth. What is he doing here? I smiled and walked into to the living room and sat on the couch. I turned on the television, changed the channel to the 90’s music, and set the remote on the table. I tucked my legs under me and leaned against the pillow on the armrest.
Beelzemon walked in after a few moments. He looked mildly surprised when he saw me.
“Hi, Beelzemon. What are you doing here?”
He shrugged as he walked over. “Just stopped by ta see what my liddle beauty was up to,” he said with a mischievous grin.
I blushed lightly and smiled, slightly embarrassed.
He sat down beside me. “There ain’t much ta eat around here.”
“Sorry. I haven’t been to the store yet.”
“Ah, that’s alright. Are you sleeping in here?” Beelzemon asked.
“Yeah, same as I’ve always have since you left. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in the bed. It just felt…so…empty.”
“I see.” Beelzemon said quietly, his eyes softening. He reached up and placed his hand on my cheek. Then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me towards him, and rested his head on my shoulder.
“So, how long are you staying?”
“Just for tonight.”
“Oh,” I said sadly. I was hoping that he might have come to stay. “Well how about I take you out for breakfast or something tomorrow before you leave? How does that sound?”
“That sounds good.” Beelzemon’s voice sounded quiet, like he was falling asleep.
“Are you falling asleep on me?” I asked teasingly.
“Yup.”
I put my arms around him, resting my hands on the upper part of his back. “That’s quite alright. Fall asleep just as you are.”
“Well, this is a tad uncomfortable, could you lean back so I can stretch out?”
“Sure.” I replied, leaning back slowly.
Beelzemon stretched himself out, carefully moving onto his side. He rested his head just below my chin.
“This is much better. How ‘bout you?”
The slight pain in my legs made me wince. “My legs hurt.”
Beelzemon pushed himself up so that he was partially upright. I pulled my legs out, sighing with relief. After I got myself resituated, Beelzemon laid back down, resting his head on my collarbone.
“Beelzemon?” I asked after a moment of silence.
“Hmm?”
“Would you be willing to return home if I moved somewhere else?”
“What?”
“If I move somewhere else, will you come back?”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“But, then you won’t come back. And I want you to come back, so terribly. It’s lonely here, having to deal with the memories alone.”
I heard Beelzemon sigh. “I know, I’m sorry.”
I hugged him, mostly to make myself feel better, to convince myself that he was really there. He returned the hug, giving me a gentle squeeze.
I listened as his gentle breathing turned to small snores. I giggled and sighed. I lay listening to the music, changing the channel when I didn’t like the song.
About an hour later, my keen hearing caught the sound of someone knocking at the door. That’s probably Pat. Damn. She’s gonna have to let herself in. I can’t move.
A moment later, I heard the door open. “Crysta? You here?”
“Yeah! I’m in the living room! I’m kinda stuck so you’re going to have to come in here.”
“Alright,” Pat walked in and her eyes widened, stopping dead in her tracks. “Oh my.”
I smiled. “Just set it on the table before you drop it will ya?”
Pat seemed to snap out of her daze, shaking her head. She set the laptop on the table.
“Would you like to come with us out for breakfast tomorrow?” I asked as she straightened up.
“Um, I guess so.”
“Good. Come by tomorrow at 8:30. Then we can go.”
“Alright. He comin’ with?” Pat asked, gesturing to Beelzemon.
“Of course. Why wouldn’t he? He deserves it, bet the poor guy hasn’t been eating well, or with anyone else’s company for quite awhile.”
“I see. Well, see you tomorrow.” Pat said as she turned to leave.
“Alright, bye.” I called after her.
After I heard her leave, I closed my eyes and instantly fell asleep.
Part 2
© 2007 - 2024 Valamon
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CapricornSniper's avatar
I love this story~